#collegesucks

College has been really cool. I've had a pretty good time. My college is really small and quiet. We have almost no clubs and really no social activities. Its mostly a commuter school. Up until this week I haven't minded the college life at all..but this week it's all crashed.

My boyfriend has little to no time to even text me. My family is too far for regular weekend trips. 

Every day leading up to this week my best friend and I have gone to get lunch and/or dinner every day. This week, she's always going with her new friends..not even inviting me..she's sorta my only friend..

I've been waking up, crying, go to class, go back to my room, cry, eat lunch, try and do homework, lay on my bed and watch shows on my phone, cry, talk to K for like 15 min., deal with roommates, cry, try to think of something to do, cry, go get some lettuce from the cafe, eat in my room, lay in bed the rest of the night  oh and cry. 

It sucks. I don't think I've ever been this consistently sad ever. 

I don't really feel homesick, cause honestly I don't really feel at home anywhere anymore. One house feels empty and smells uninhabited. The other is somewhere that was never home for me..and all I have is a twin bed with bedding from when I was six.

I just feel miserable here. Depressed. Angry.

I want to leave.